Death My Old Lover
by A.J.YoungAwesome
Summary: Watch Death deal with Wade Wilson/Deadpool's continuous talking as he tries to entertain her. A short Story.


**Death My Old Lover**

"I'm telling you this game is great, I can have a wife, a girlfriend and a mistress at the same time. If I want to kill my boss, I just invite them around to my home, ask them to join me in the pool and then get out once they're in and take out the ladder so they drown."

"Okay"

Death look confused but Wade kept on.

"See this is me, I couldn't create my suit so I just modelled him after me, you know pre- cancer Wade Wilson. But you my lucky goddess of death, can have your black cloak and skeleton appearance. Seems unfair to me but oh well. Now we can get married but only after you move in otherwise you might disappear and if I try to ring you, it might tell me you don't have a phone. I hate it when that happens. You know? You find the perfect wife or husband mind you" he winks. "I'm all for LGBT Rights, but I spend all that time schmoozing the sim and then they disappear after we woohoo. Makes me feel cheap"

"When you summoned me, I did not think it was so we could play such games" Death chimed in, she was content to watch her old flame but he insisted on introducing her to this game 'The Sims 3' claiming this was the best version as four was a let-down. Whatever that meant.

"Are you not having fun? This is fun for me."

"Well … no not really"

Pushing the two laptops to the floor Wade jumped up and grabbed a handful of DVD's and boxsets in his large arms and brought them back to her, spreading them out across the table in front of them

"How about a t.v. show or film? Have you see the vampire diaries, that's okay most times I suppose. Unless your team Stefan them we're going to have a problem. I can't stand Stefan, there is nothing worse than a self-righteous killer who goes through a serious case of bipolar disorder every season. I Love Elena, I hate Damon, I Love Damon, I hate Elena. He has the same motive and thoughts and zero character development. Unless you count his hair" Wade mused aloud.

"I've not had the pleasure of witnessing it"

"Okay how about the mortal instrument, the film is okay but I hear a t.v show is in the works pretty soon. Have you read the books? I could read them to you, my favourite has to be city of ash and city of lost souls and then all the infernal devices books. Team Jem, Will and Tessa. I suspect if Jem hadn't been sick they would have been a three way till the end. Have you ever been in a three way?"

"No, Wade I'd rather w-"

"Yeah me neither, I'll have to look into it. Oh how could I forget, you like chimichangas right? I can have sixty plates worth brought here in ten minutes. The restaurant down the street is used to me at this point. I'm certain I'm there best costumer. No one tips like me."

"Wad-"

"Or we could go for a walk, I don't think it's still raining. No, hang on what was I thinking, I've forgotten the greatest game ever. MONOPOLY!" Wade waved his arms around as he starting searching his messy flat for the board game, Death simply watched frustrated at his non-stop ranting. You think she be used to his ways by now.

"Wade really, I'd quite like to just-"

Wade's head shot up out from under the sofa "Does your back still have pain? I can massage it for you I've been learning all about pressure points" he wiggled his fingers suggestively.

"WADE!"

"Whoa, okay my darling goddess. No need to shout I have neighbours."

"Just hold me Wade, it's all I ever ask from you"

His shoulders slumped "oh! Well why didn't you just say so" shooting round Wade fitted himself back in next to Death and wrapped on arm around her waist and used the other to come round and capture her gloved hand in her lap.

"This is nice"

"I have to agree, although I don't see why we can't watch Vampire diaries while we do this."

Death had had enough.

"Wade Wilson! Shut up and kiss me or I really will kill you this time!" death screamed and Wade had the decency to looked shocked before his signature sarcasm fought back.

"Whatever you say Death" leaning in his hand cupped her chin and pressed his mask covered lips to her skeleton ones and Death sighed.


End file.
